41 Lessons Learned By People Who Had Failed Relationships

If you haven’t been in a failed relationship – you’re a rare gem! But for the most of us, we all have, and even better – they were all lessons learned. Whether you have been through one break up, or 10, it doesn’t matter. We have to embrace them and take what we got from them and always know that what’s mean to be is meant to be – and live our f*cking lives!

Because it’s universal, we’ve collected 41 quotes from people who have shared what they learned. Whether you’re struggling in a relationship right now, going through a break up. or are in one – it doesn’t matter. Somtimes we just need that extra advice from a nonbias side. Check out the 41 statements made from people who came out of failed relationships.

1. 
“Waiting for a man to change is the biggest mistake a woman has ever made.”

2. 
“If they are not ‘what’ you want in the beginning, move on.”

3. 
“Self-love is the foundation of any relationship.”

4. 
“No matter how good you were together once the other stopped choosing you, it’s over. Also, no matter what you’ve been through… you gotta thank them for the memories. I’m pretty sure it’s not all bad. Just thank them but don’t dwell on it.”

5. 
“Don’t expect a cheater to change. If s/he is always looking for attention of others after all you give, it’ll never be enough…and/or s/he’s may be a narcissist.”

6. 
“Never beg someone to love or be with you, because if someone truly and utterly cares about you, they will treat you as a priority.”

7. 
“It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other and how much ups and downs you’ve shared. If he decides to leave and turn his back from you, there is nothing you can do. But you can always regain your balance, so long as you have not lost yourself in the process of losing him. Above all, love and respect yourself.”

8. 
“No matter how much you want your relationship to be your last, you cannot force someone to stay if they choose to give up on you.

Also, you can’t force something that isn’t meant to work out in the first place.”

9. 
“Love yourself more than you love him
Love yourself more than you love him
Love yourself more than you love him
Love yourself more than you love him
Love yourself more than you love him
Love yourself more than you love him
So it’s not gonna hurt dat much when things didn’t work out.”

10. 
“Sometimes it’s better to let go and move on than it is to fight for something that only one of you truly wants.”

11. 
“Proving yourself will never be a guarantee that he will choose you!!! Love yourself!!! That’s all you have! YOURSELF!!!”

12. 
“Some may be more suited for you than others, and you may think you found the perfect person for you but the ONE is a myth. I don’t believe anyone who says they found the ONE because the person you found is someone you liked best from the pool you were exposed to, and not the entire population on the planet. Obvious gross incompatibilities aside, there is no ONE perfect person for you that you need to constantly be in search of. Bottom line, every relationship, whatever the degree of compatibility of the couple, is a lot of work and can survive only with willful commitment to work on themselves and the relationship. You, your partner, and your relationship will always be works in progress. Embrace that. You can’t give someone everything all the time, nor can you expect it. You are both perpetually learning from each other and life, growing together and trying to give each other the best, also bringing out the best in the other person. The grass always seems greener on the other side, but realize the value of what is in front of you. This doesn’t mean you settle or compromise beyond your breaking point. Just learn to appreciate things for what they are rather than be deluded into a never-ending search for something better; spoiled by every iteration of ‘happily ever afters’ in the movies and books. Real life starts AFTER the fairy-tale ending in the books and the movies.”

13. 
“Don’t be too dependent on your emotional needs to others. Love yourself enough that you need not to look for a love from others.”

14. 
“Learn to forgive no matter how much the person caused so much pain and no matter how hurtful it is. Forgiving is always associated with forgetting. Forget in a way that you need to move on and keep moving forward even if that person is no longer with you in crossing those paths. Forgive and forget will give you peace of mind.”

15. 
“When someone continues to hurt you, end the relationship. It really is that simple. It matters not who they are. Put some boundaries up; if they still hurt you, move on!”

16. 
“The relationship with my ex-wife ended 25 years ago but we have a son together. I’ve cut her out of my life and only have a relationship with my son. She continues to manipulate every situation. Hard to move on when she still needs to control everything.”

17. 
“When they start trying to change you or quiet your voice, let them go. Fall in love with someone who doesn’t make you think love is hard. True love should be as natural as breathing. Don’t ignore your instincts. Be with someone who values you completely…and who sees you the way you’ve always wanted to see yourself. Someone who would never intentionally hurt you verbally, emotionally, or physically. Someone who can apologize sincerely. Someone who is all in…your teammate, your partner in life…they don’t make you work for or prove your value to them or your relationship. Someone who makes your relationship their priority.”

18. 
“Have your own life. Make yourself happy. Don’t rely on someone to make you happy. Enjoy spending time with yourself. Have self-fulfillment.”

19. 
“With any relationship problem, there are three sides to it: his (or hers), hers (or his), and the objective reality. I have seen way too many promising relationships being abandoned prematurely because one or both of them are unwilling to consider the objective reality owing to the reinforcement of their own negative delusions. Everyone thinks they are right and what suffers is something beautiful together that could have been.”

20. 
“God has better plans than I thought I already had for myself. And wait for God’s perfect timing. Stop putting everything on a hurry. Know your worth.”

21. 
“Once consistency stops and distance starts, it’s time to stop lying to yourself and leave. Stop making excuses for him. Because there will be a time where all you find yourself doing is giving. And that feeling of being empty comes into play. Almost like you are being robbed of life. Don’t be afraid to be alone. Because it’s so much worse being with someone and STILL feeling alone.”

22. 
“Be happy
Be positive
Never regret meet anyone coz each of them teaches you something
Forgive and forget
Don’t ruin your self-worth just because you trust.
Don’t be a cheater just because your ex didn’t appreciate your loyalty
Appreciate everything
Try to let it go. You deserve to be happy
Learn from the positive one leave the negative one
Love yourself before you love someone else
Stop judging yourself
Get a life!
Last but not least.
Be beautiful. Be rich. Be you. Be a Queen.”

23. 
“Forgive and move forward. Don’t chase. The only things that can change a person’s stance/perspective on a failed relationship are time and experience. People, once removed from a situation, can better evaluate their own mistakes, find solutions, and come to less-clouded decisions. It’s cliche as all hell, but ‘if you love someone set them free, if they cone back it was meant to be’-just remember it goes both ways; love yourself enough to set yourself free, also.”

24. 
“Be brave enough not to sacrifice self-respect.
Never expect from broken promises.
Continue living up with your dreams no matter how broken or how devastated you are.
Don’t ignore the red flags that consistently show up.”

25. 
“Don’t EVER disregard red flags. Never settle for less than what you deserve. Be firm, know your worth. Never lower your standards. Be strong enough to stand up for yourself and your beliefs. You could bend for them, but don’t ever break the rules you’ve set to protect yourself. Be wise, every single time. Some men are manipulative and love to play the victim. Show them that shit doesn’t get to you. If they’re guilt-tripping you, be rad enough to point out their shits. Don’t be afraid to backfire. Like when they say, ‘Okay so I am not doing enough then.’ Oh yes lazy-ass! Your words mean nothing when your actions tell otherwise! ‘Don’t worry, I’m used to being dumped.’ Why the hell don’t you change your ways then? Don’t.baby.them. Be fierce, girl.”

26. 
“I always tell myself there’s no such thing as a failed relationship…it’s just two people whose paths were only meant to cross for a little while.”

27. 
“Always go with your instinct if someone doesn’t feel right for you…and walk away rather than settle or expect them to change…whether they change or not is out of your control!…and ALWAYS learn something about yourself from that experience to inform yourself in the next one!”

28. 
“I’ve learned that it’s not easy to handle the pain….Really, very painful. If I get a chance to bring back the past, I wish I didn’t meet that person.”

29. 
“I am a hard-headed strong woman and I deserve someone who accepts that and does not expect me to change. I deserve someone who has my best interests in mind and understands that my dreams comes before anybody else. I deserve someone who loves me so deeply that my cheeks hurt from smiling too much and that learns my way of returning love. Without all of the failed relationships I would not have learned any of this.

Heartbreak sucks, but without pain we could never appreciate the good. I do not regret a single relationship I had or how it turned out; every end and bad situation just makes me more ready for when I find the ‘one.’ I have gained insights and friendships I could have never imagined and I have grown to be more myself at every end. So here is to you, relationships of my past; without you I would not be me.”

30. 
“People come and go. You don’t get to choose who will stay. A nine-year relationship ended over a month-old ‘not so good kind’ of friendship. When it’s time to choose, guess who did he let go.”

31. 
“Not to date DJ hipster vegetarians. I should’ve know better when his pants were tighter than mine and I had more muscle mass. Lmao.”

32. 
“That even after years together with no previous signs they can still snap one night and beat the crap out of you in front of your kid without provocation. Relationship done, left that night after leaving the hospital. Not looking back.”

33. 
“You make your own happiness. You shouldn’t take the blame for someone else’s bullshit; they have to own their own. Don’t let anyone hit you or talk down to you. Learn to say ‘enough is enough.’”

34. 
“That you have the right to speak up about how you feel, not needing to be afraid offending your partner especially if it’s the truth.”

35. 
“Don’t settle for less than you deserve. If that person makes you doubt yourself and can’t accept your past mistakes, flaws, shortcomings, and differences, then he’s definitely not the right person.”

36. 
“No matter how much you love the other person, never let them hurt your self-respect and always trust your gut feelings; blind trust leads to destruction.”

37. 
“You can’t settle. You may have started out great, but the second you both start to realize you want different things, it’s time to let it go. No matter how much you love that person, you need to love yourself first. Also, if there is no trust, you are not gonna last. You need to be able to trust your partner.”

38. 
“One of the important lessons to learn is to not chase after people. If you lose someone, don’t allow their absence to make you lose yourself, too. You were fine before you met them, so you can learn how to be happy again without them. You are strong, beautiful/handsome, and you will be okay.”

39. 
“Love and prioritize yourself. That is the best way to protect yourself from people who want to hurt you. Love without regrets, but learn how to say NO and be assertive as possible. Do not be bossy, demanding, or clingy. Remember, love is a simple thing to do. Do not over-complicate things.”

40. 
“I learned that you need to have your own life as well. We thought that it’s ideal if you and your significant other do everything together. But you know what? It’s no good. You need to be happy on your own. Don’t depend your happiness to her/him. I also learned that trust is important and so is honesty. No matter how hard it is. Trust fully and be honest. It’s not a failed relationship. It’s a successful one. I learned a lot from it. I am treasuring all the memories.”

41. 
“Love hurts and it’s overrated, but you don’t have to suffer from it. Love yourself first and the right people will come. It may take a lot of work, patience, and mistakes, but what’s meant for you will be there.”

See the full 200 list, by clicking here.

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