Last week, Ariana Grande dropped a tune us and the rest of the world cannot get out of our head. The song, was true break up song – but not like you’d expect.She didn’t bash her ex Pete, throw stones at Big Sean or say something passive aggressive about Ricky. She thanked them all because they made her who she is today – which she considers a strong, patient, loving woman.
“One taught me love, one taught me patience, and one taught me pain. Now, I’m so amazing”
Ariana Grande even goes on to say that she is now focusing on self love and that she’s at once content and at peace with that. If there’s one thing WRUW knows, it’s that self love and self awareness is number one. And while Ariana Grande’s smashing hit is just a song, it also holds loads of truth.
According to Cosmopolitan’s article, psychotherapist Jaime Gleicher, LMSW, says saying “thank you,” is a great way to move on.
“It’s a courageous and empowering option. Think of it this way: You’re thankful for what you learned, but you’re also thankful for who you are saying goodbye to and leaving behind.”
Understanding that every relationship has the good, the bad, and the ugly can help ease the splitting up and healing processes too,” added Sex therapist Megan Fleming, PhD, also agreed.
“It’s liberating to acknowledge that your relationship had both positives and negatives,” added Gleicher.
For myself personally, this has always been a therapy for me and a way to move on. I have tried this technique with more than one break up, and it truly gives you a feeling of peace and readiness for what’s in the present and in your future. As cheesy as it is, you would never be who you are without these type of break ups. Practicing the act of letting go is not easy, but it will as the doctor said above, make you stronger and let go of any anger and resentment that you need to do in order to focus on self care.
“Shortly after your breakup—and when you’re ready—write a handwritten letter to thank your ex for the memories, the lessons, and the hardships,” suggests Fleming.
I would never, ever write a letter to my ex, but I have done this by texting it in the copy to them and never sending. Or writing it out on paper and never sending. Or if you’re like Ariana Grande, write them a song! The release is the same. Do what is best for you, and then … next!
By Staci Wuokko