Happy Shame: Why The Hell Do We Do It?

There’s a lot of shaming that goes on these days. Mom shaming, fat shaming, skinny shaming, selfie shaming. The list goes on and on. One thing I have recently noticed ? Happy shame. I know, you’re like “WTF are you talking about?” But here’s the deal.

We live in a social media world. I’ll be the first to say that a lot of my friends that post photos non-stop of their boyfriends with gushy and mushy comments. I know the inside world of that and know they are far from happy. But this is because they tell me. But does that mean other people aren’t happy? Stats definitely show that the more a couple posts on social or feels the need to prove it to the world, the more they are likely unhappy. But if we don’t know, is that really our place to say? Is it our place to roll our eyes and ask why they constantly need to broadcast it? Perhaps they are truly just into posting on social and updating their friends and families with their lives and feelings. Isn’t that why it was created?

Just recently, I had a friend ask me how I was. I ultimately had nothing negative to say. I have been what I view as blessings right now and everything is exactly what I want. She then pursued to tell me she felt like I wasn’t telling her everything because it seems like everything is perfect. Is anyone or anything perfect? I don’t know the answer to that but I know my life is not perfect nor am I. But perfection and happiness are far from the same thing.

Why is it that these days, we can’t accept people to be happy? And if they are or say they are, we don’t believe them? Is it because so many people we know who tell us they are unhappy live a different life on social media? What is the cause on why we can’t accept that people are content or happy. Why do we happy shame?

I have a friend who is about to have her third beautiful baby. People come to me  and tell me her life on IG is so annoying and there’s no way her life is as perfect as it seems. In fact, that is what they tell me makes her annoying. I am saying this as honest and blunt as I can – I really think she is THAT happy. That is because of the lifestyle, mindset and relationships they have in their life. Sure, I am positive they have had struggles and a lot less struggles than others. But once again, why are they not allowed to be happy? Why can’t that be her REAL life?

You are allowed to be happy and you don’t need to think that means your life is perfect. And hey, maybe your life is perfect! That is OKAY.  But happiness is all centered about attitudes, life choices and your perspective and vibes on things. Next time we scroll through IG and see a post that we typically think “OMG, yeah right, they’re so annoying,” maybe we accept it. Maybe at times when we are not 100% happy, we can seek in those who claim they are. Maybe they have the best advice waiting for you. Whether it be your work life, relationship life, mentality, mental illness – it doesn’t matter. We shouldn’t happy shame and if anything, if we aren’t as happy, maybe we should start asking what makes them so happy, instead of bashing.

Have you been happy-shamed? Comment below!

By Staci Wuokko