As if we needed social media to make millennial dating more fucked up.
We’re all familiar with ghosting–the act of suddenly disappearing on a romantic interest–whether we’ve ghosted someone or vice versa.
What happens when a guy you’ve been dating ghosts you in a communicative way, meaning they don’t call, text, or FaceTime you anymore, basically ignore you IRL but they continue to shamelessly lurk on your social media? That’s what ”orbiting” is and apparently guys are pros at this whether they realize it or not. Essentially, these guys are “keeping you in their orbit” — close enough to see each other; far enough to never actually talk.
After stumbling upon this topic online and seeing so many other girls relate, I felt so justified in my super over-analytical ways! Like wow, this does’t just happen to annoy only me?! I’m not being paranoid?
shoutout to guys who go out with you once and never talk to you again, but then like all your instagram posts for the rest of your life like they never really wanted to date you and instead just wanted to capture you in glass and look at you forever like a caged fucking bird
— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) January 10, 2018
Trying to make sense of someone ghosting you is easier because unlike orbiting, they aren’t on your radar and aren’t keeping tabs on you. They’re doing the complete opposite; they’re trying to avoid you actually. They fall off the face of the earth and you kinda just forget about them. With an orbiter, they’ll always be there, enjoying you in their lives virtually without having to contact you to see what you’re up to .
Here’s the confusion: if someone seemingly fades away and stops hitting us up, it could be implied that they don’t like us that much or aren’t that interested in pursuing anything. But, if they’re continuously the first to watch a story or like a picture you post, doesn’t that mean they are interested in something?
According to Manrepeller, there’s three reasons a guy might ”orbit” you
Reason #1: It could be a “power move” to passively keep you on friendly terms while putting in minimal effort to actually remain a part of your life. I think this could be a guy’s way of keeping you as one of his options, whether he stands a chance anymore or not. In this case, he should be blocked. You don’t get to see all my daily, fun content if you won’t text me back to actually talk about my day. Bye!
Reason #2: They live under a rock and/or don’t realize what they’re doing. I admit, sometimes I’m guilty of orbiting when I’m just scrolling social media out habit; double tapping and liking pictures before returning a text. But because I am aware that people can see that, I don’t want to be rude so I respond at some point. So, for the good amount of people who do know that others can see who’s watching their stuff, probably don’t think you check your viewers or they simply don’t care if you do see them. With that said, why are you even looking, bro?
Reason #3: Their FOMO is strong. The person might not necessarily be ready to commit to a relationship; however, they don’t want to completely cut you off and miss the opportunity to connect later down the line. It provides a safe way for them to slide in your DM’s when they want to make their return to your life.
I get it, social media is a fun way to keep up with people you know or used to know, and unfollowing someone could be a little extreme for some. However, it’s still kind of unfair to keep someone on the back-burner, and faux-interest is worse than an unfollow could ever be.